The short answer is, "I've always been Ellen to me and, it was time." A longer answer, if you are inclined to hear it, is this: I have lived and loved as much as I could as Roxanne; and Ellen is now a better fit for my present and future. It is a name I've always cherished and a name by which I've always known myself.
And where did the name Ellen come from? Quite simply, it's always been part of my legal name. I received two names from my parents at birth, one a given name and one a family name. Roxanne became my given name and Ellen was given to me to honor my paternal grandmother, Ellen Marie Carlson Schreiber, of Fargo, North Dakota. My oldest sister, Renee Amy, received our maternal grandmother's name, Amy, and our youngest sister was given Ann for our mother, Marilyn Ann. Our only brother was given our father's full name, Marvin Lyle.
Names are a curious and complex part of language, and changing them in midlife can be quite a challenge--even a bit distressful--especially for family members, friends and colleagues with whom we have a shared history. I understand this, and I am not offended when someone forgets or falters. I will appreciate that moment of our shared history and gently let it pass.
All of our family names were lovingly and honorably shared with us, and they continue to remind me of the well-lived lives of the people they identify. I only hope that my own life should be so well-lived and so well-loved as the woman's life for whom I was named. And so with that in mind, just call me Ellen.
Ellen
